Sunday, May. 11, 2008

brokenness

God has been speaking to me about brokenness for over a week. Started reading a book titled "Brokenness - The Heart That God Revives" and as I read it, I was reminded that revival can take place only when God's people decides to ask God to break their hearts. Out from that brokenness flows a fresh hunger and desperation, which will drive God's people to pray more fervently than ever.

"You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; You do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God You will not despise." - Psalm 51:16-17

Yep. And I think I wanna be frank here. I did pray for God to break my heart, but gradually as the week passed, somehow that desire for more brokenness gave way to other things like discouragement.

But guess what. Pride came in too. And God showed me the pride I had in my heart today and I just felt so convicted I had to repent before Him. For allowing pride to come into my heart, for pointing 1 finger at others and not seeing the other 4 fingers that are pointed back at myself, for pointing out the sawdust in one's eyes but not noticing the plank in my own, for judging others, for being critical.

And then I read John 12:24,

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."

And through the book, God spoke to me, that I had to die to self. I need to die to my rights, my expectations, my opinions, my views, etc. I need to lay them all down, to give them all up, to let it all go. Otherwise I cannot be broken.

I don't just want to remain a seed, I wanna produce many seeds, to be fruitful. So Lord, help me die to self. In Jesus' name, Amen.

God also showed me about how sin thrives in secrecy. Whoever is reading this, I want to challenge you to look into your own heart today, praying Psalm 139:23-24, and when God shows you the area(s) of your sin, I challenge you to be accountable. A friend once said this, "Sin only hurts when it's seen."

Let's strive to weed out the sin in our lives constantly. Because our hearts are deceitful.

While I live, God deals.
Let's look to Jesus all the time, cos only He can grant us what we need to pull through everyday.

Jesus - my only reason for living. He's my Superhero.

beehahaha at 1:53 AM

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